My Soaps

Some of you may have bought some of my soaps and/or bath and body products. I sell them at a local pharmacy and by word of mouth. I sold a good bit around Christmas so I have been working diligently to build up my stock again. I love the creative side of soapmaking. I enjoy creating a new recipe. Recently I made a new soap called "Mocha". It is chocolate with coffee grounds as an exfoliate - great for removing kitchen smells but I can hardly wait for it to cure so I can use it in the shower. It has just a hint of chocolate and coffee smell and looks delicious.

Anticipation is building. Remember the old ketchup commercial with the song " Anticipation is Making Me Wait" and everyone is eagerly tilting the ketchup bottle and licking their lips? Well - Steph, our PAC facillitator, is due to arrive in Haiti tomorrow. Two moms, Crystal and Sarah, have been in Haiti for a few days visiting their kids. Their kids are at PAC 2 with Baby Girl. They've been a couple of times and are really sweet about trying to get lots of pictures.
The last time Steph asked about our file, we were still not in IBESR yet. Soooo what I am anticipating is... the news that we are finally in IBESR. The icing on the cake will be a new picture of little miss Nephtalie from Steph or the moms. Oooh, I can hardly wait!

Pride

Tomorrow my sister and I are going to a class. It is being given by the local Research and Extension Center. It's a workshop on goat health care. There will be hands-on demonstrations on hoof trimming ( I hate to cut my dogs nails) injection sites and more. I showed my hubby the flyer and told him I had signed us up and we could call it a date. You should have seen the look of horror on his face. Now you have to understand our dilemma. My sister and I love our farm animals but we don't want people to think we are farmers by looking at us. I know it's pride. My husband teases us about being "goat people". When I called to sign us up yesterday, I was so tempted to ask if we were the only women signed up. We have this mental picture of these men spitting tobacco. It's being held in a small local country town. We want to learn how to accurately take care of our pets so we are truly looking forward to the workshop. We teased each other with the elaborate Zsa Zsa outfits we could wear like boas and heels - you know Green Acres? We settled on feminine but comfortable. It's probably going to be a bunch of children learning for their 4-H projects or adults just like us. The "tobacco spitters" could probably teach the class. Right? Pride - it can be an ugly thing can't it?

We don't have cable or satelite t.v. by choice. We have had it in the past and decided we watched way too much t.v. We turned it off and got reaquainted with one of our favs - Antique Roadshow on PBS. If we miss it on Monday - we catch the rerun on Thursday. So that's what we are doing right now. We are oohing and ahhing with the amazed and excited people on t.v. and saying "it could be us one day!" For those who have never watched this program, it's where people bring various items to be appraised. They tell stories of the item being passed down generation to generation or sometimes they just picked it up at a thrift store. Most of the items that make it on the show are worth amazing amounts of money.

I love to yardsale and S enjoys estate sales. We don't get out to these often but when we do we are looking for that "amazing find". I actually think I have found my first one. The story goes like this: A friend of mine paid around $500 for a painting from a local artist several years ago. It is one of her cherished treasures. The artist, Margaret Hand, was a local woman and the wife of one of her and my husband's teachers. She has a few paintings in our state capital - her work is beautiful. I have always admired my friend's painting, too.

One day, I was out alone and stopped at a yardsale. I was drawn to a large pretty painting leaning against a tree. I love farmhouses and this one was especially lovely because it was a snow scene. I stood admiring it but thinking S would never let me hang it in our house. We have such different tastes. I looked at the signature but couldn't quite make it out. I walked off but kept coming back. I knew my mom and sister would love it so I had a back-up plan if S said no way. I picked it up and took it over to the lady. She started talking about how her mom had had it painted for her because she loves snow scenes. She said it was done by a local artist and was of her childhood home. I started getting really excited at that point. She then went on to say the artist's name - Margaret Hand. I nearly swallowed my tongue but was cool as could be when I asked how much. When she said $20 I nearly fainted. I quickly pulled out the money and rushed carefully to the car. Since I was only a few blocks from my friend's house, of course, I ran by to show her my find. After 20 minutes of admiring the painting and my friend trying to buy it off of me, I took my prize and went home. I pulled into the yard and carefully got the painting out of the back of the van. S met me on the sidewalk saying" Where do you intend on hanging that? I quickly said " It's a Margaret Hand!" He said " Why not in our room?"

A week later, we spoke with Mrs. Hand's husband- one of S's favorite teachers. We shared our story although we deleted the exact price I paid. He told us we were lucky to have found it. His wife was commissioned to do most of her paintings and they had very few left in their possesion. She also had cancer and was not doing much painting anymore. Mr. Hand said because of that they were not going to sell any of the ones they had and that the value of mine could go up considerably when she passed. He said we had a great investment.

Well, sadly, Mrs. Hand has passed on. I am not sure of the value of my beautiful painting but I do know this. I love my painting whatever it is worth. I still hold to my original thought - I found a treasure. Maybe it will be one of my grandchildren on the Antique Roadshow, hmmm.....

Snowy Day!

S called from the office with a weather report - sleet. Not very exciting. Soon after, we looked out the window and to our delight it was snowing! It was just a light " dusting" but after a couple of hours everything had a beautiful frosted look. This is as good as it gets around here most years. All the kids went out and played. Noah made snow angels and a 3 ft. snowman.
Lucas is our polar bear. He wears shorts and a t-shirt all year round. I have caught him running out to the garage or mailbox in bare feet with the ground frozen.

Noah catching snowflakes.

Friends

My friend Susan in the blue.

Lexi and Jill on a trip together

It's always interesting to look back over your life and see special people God has put in your life. One of those "people" is my friend, Susan, who went with me to Haiti last year to meet Kaflaure, the little girl we were supposed to adopt. Our friendship began when she started homeschooling and our daughters, Lexi and Jill, became good friends. Our children have been in home school co-op classes together. Our girls have done girl scouts, camping trips, basketball, and lots more together over the years.

Last year, when I called her about something, she asked about our adoption. I shared all about my upcoming trip. She got really emotional and excited and shared with me her lifelong wish to spend time at an orphanage and love on all the children. Incredibly, before we hung up she was planning to go with me. I was more than thrilled to have her go along to share this experience and fulfill a personal dream.I did not realize at the time what a blessing her commitment would end up being. My other friend, whom I was planning to travel with, had to back out of the trip. I have never traveled alone and would not have had the courage to do it on this trip either. I was doubly thankful now that Susan was planning to go with me. We made our plans and had fun anticipating the trip together.

Off we went to a third world country - nervous but excited. We had an incredible week. At first we were afraid we had planned to long a visit as we already missed our families terribly. My S called and told us we needed to focus on this visit and enjoy it to the fullest. So we hugged and kissed every child we could get our hands on including our little Kaflaure. Susan had no plans to adopt but kept saying if she did she would want my Kaflaure. We both fell in love with that child. She was princess for a week - we spoiled her as much as we could. We were fortunate to go on several excursions to really see Haiti. We met and made friends with many other moms who were there visiting their children. We played for hours with Kaflaure - seeing her smile and loving her sweet little voice. Susan mourned with me as time drew nearer to leaving that baby behind. We left with heavy hearts full of compassion and sorrow for a country with so many problems and desperate people. We both also left behind a part of ourselves with a precious mischevious little brown eyed angel named Kaflaure.

We came home eager to be with our families again, although after spending 7 days together it felt strange to be apart. Life is busy though and time marches quickly on. We go for several weeks or more without speaking. Inevitably when we do - Haiti comes up. We laugh and reminince and usually end up teary eyed. She will never know how much I appreciate her and how thankful I am she went on that trip with me. She is the only person in my little world whom I can truly talk to about Haiti - she really understands. She also shares my memories of Kaflaure. That is a priceless gift and I thank God for that.

She has planned all along to go back with me to pick up Baby Girl. After talking again tonight, I think we may shoot for a visit before then - who knows?

A Shy Smile

This is one of the few pictures of our sweet girl smiling. I just got copies made of all the pictures the moms took around Christmas and realized I had not posted this one.

Today was one of those days that remind me why I love living in the south. It was gorgeous. For the past 2 weeks we have had many nights in the teens and days in the thirties and forties. Yuk! All I have wanted to do is stay in and stay warm. Today was one of our "teases" of spring. It was sunny with a high of 65. After a wonderful church service, we stopped at one of our favorite mexican restaurants for lunch. Then we came home and changed into comfy clothing and headed outside. Noah set up his target in the front yard and practised with his new bow while S and I sat in the swing and cheered him on. Caleb and Lucas kicked the soccer ball around for a while. We walked around the orchard, examined the trees and imagined all the fruit we will hopefully have this year. We moved on to the line of dogwood trees by the road and ooh and aahed over all the buds which will turn into glorious blooms this spring. I made the mistake of feeding Ivy, one of my pygmy goats, a banana muffin so she cried for more and cried and cried. She's so spoiled. I got out the camcorder and filmed her begging and Noah shooting his bow. Before long all my nieces and nephews from next door were milling about the yard. The bigger kids pulled out the skateboards and rode down the driveway while the younger ones rode around on their new bikes. Then my sister and brother in law ambled our way. We discussed vacations and various outdoor projects like the grapes and thornless blackberries we want to plant. Everyone walked down to the barn to see how much my baby chicks have grown and to pet our little Tinkerbell, our rescued baby goat. It was just one of those relaxing family days where we got a little glimpse of spring and we love it.

I can't seem to stop crying this morning so I'm hoping writing this down will help. I have been reading posts from a mom who just got back from a second trip to Haiti to visit her girls. She's adopting from the same O. She took that last picture of Baby Girl and has been describing in great detail all that she experienced. It brought up all that pent up almost overwhelming emotion I felt after getting back from my visit. I have to say up front - Marie,the O director is an incredible, hardworking, loving woman, the nannies competent and caring, the O is clean and the children well fed. I feel we picked the best orphanage in Haiti. But it is still an orphanage. I compare it to a good American daycare - the O is comparable. It's a temporary alternative, it's not a "home" with a mommy and daddy and all that comes with it. This mom mentioned taking her girls with her when she visited their O for 30 minutes. They were nervous, thinking she was leaving her. My little Kaflaure acted the same way. She clung to my hand the whole visit and cried and begged me to go. She had had a refresher week ( my visit) that reminded her of family life. She was miserable until we left. I was just as miserable knowing I was leaving her to go back the next day for who knows how long. I knew she was going to miss me rocking her to sleep and doting on everything she did - all that one on one attention.
Something else that touched my heart was the mom's description of the emotional state of the kids. She said "Like everything in life, there is a pecking order. The older, bigger kids, rule. The little kids sit on the sidelines. Truthfully, they cry, or they seem sad. A few are just determined little fighters, and they get in there with the big kids and hold their ground. I'm sure it's not like this all of the time, but that is what I saw. And there seems to be an advantage to being part of a sibling group. Orphanage life is tough, and it is hard to look at. " I was reminded of how fiesty little Kaflaure was. I think, although she was one of the smaller ones (2 1/2), she could hold her own. This, of course, after adjusting to O life. I am concerned about little Baby Girl. I have seen several pictures over the past 2 months she has been there. In most she is alone with those big, haunting brown eyes looking up sadly. I wonder what her Haitian mama sees when she visits and how difficult is must be for her. I feel drawn to her and we've never met. I am honored to be able to partner with her to give her little girl what she can not. So this transitional time of waiting is hard on us all. There are hundreds of children, in dozens of Haitian O's, who are in process of coming home. Many families who dream of the day they can bring their little ones home. So we pray and we wait.

Baby Dolls

Thanks to Marta, another thoughtful adopting mom, we have another picture of Baby Girl. She has on the same "slightly " too big shoes as in all the recent pictures. How she has managed to hold on to them all this time, I don't know.

She is holding a baby doll which is encouraging to me personally. I dearly loved all my baby dolls as a child. They were my greatest treasures. Before Christmas each year, my mom would have my sister and I line up all our babies and give them a bath while she washed all their clothes. My mom loves dolls so she made sure we got several new additions each Christmas. I got one of the first anatomically correct baby boys and the cutest little brown baby - you did not see those very much in the early seventies. Remember Baby Alive, Drowsy, Kewpie, Tiny Tears and Baby Chrissie? I have them all. My dad was in the military when I was younger and we lived in Germany for three years. Mom bought us a baby doll and souvenir doll in every country we visited during those years. One of my biggest disappointments was not getting a Mrs. Beasley doll - my mom thought she was ugly. My Raggedy Ann slept on my bed until my marriage at 24. They are all still precious to me - I have them packed away carefully in a large plastic container in a closet. Occasionally, I will get them out and brush their hair and give them all hugs. I had thought when I had a little girl, she might like to play with them. Sadly, Lexi not only was not interested in my babies, she did not really care for any of her own. I bought her some anyway in hopes of piquing her interest. I think Noah enjoyed playing with them more than she did.

Seeing Baby Girl with a doll in her arms thrills me. Every since we have committed to adopting another little girl, I have spent quite a lot of time on the doll isle in various stores. I haven't bought anything yet because I wasn't sure she would be interested. Now I can indulge myself. Who knows, I might even get to pull my own sweet babies out of the closet and "play mommy" again with my youngest little girl.