Closed Doors

My trip to Haiti is coming up really fast. It has me remembering my last trip. I had not traveled out of the country since childhood. I was so excited not as much about seeing Haiti but to get to meet the little girl who was coming home to be our own.

Kaflaure. What a beautiful name for a beautiful little girl.

One of the first pictures I saw of Kaflaure.

We had spent several days together and I found she loves poptarts!

As I have said before, we found out she had Hep B a month after my visit. That was hard news to swallow but we educated ourselves on this, after all she was our little girl. Shortly after, the birthmom decided to take Kaflaure away from the O. No one has seen them since and we were left heartbroken.

Then came baby Nerlande. I will always be sad we never got to see a picture of this little sweetheart. We've never been told if she survived after being put in the hospital for complications of severe malnutrition.

Then Rose Carly. A referral fell through for her and she was available. What a beautiful baby! We were thrilled to be offered a chance to make her a part of our family. She was well loved by everyone who saw her especially her nanny. Always smiling.

Unfortunately, we found out a few months later that she had some major health issues that we did not feel that we could handle.
What a little doll!

Rose Carly was taken back by her mom. We have no idea what will become of this precious little angel.

Our adoption journey was becoming very confusing. We pondered the thought that maybe God didn't want us to adopt a child from Haiti after all. For some reason, the first 3 little girls were not the right one. I can't say we understood why this kept happening but although we grieved each time S and I decided we just needed to hold tight until the right child came along.

We had prayed through this whole process. God kept closing doors and amazingly enough we had peace.

Recently, we had a great lesson in Sunday school. Our teacher showed us a testimony of a woman in New York. She had interviewed for the restaurant on the top of the World Trade Center. This was her dream job. She got called back for a second interview. She was introduced around the office and shown the office she would be occupying. It seemed the job was hers. They gave someone else the job. She was hurt and angry at God. That was supposed to be her job! Life went on and a few months later - 9/11. She realized then that God had spared her. He had closed the door to bless her.

We had a guest speaker that morning. I can't tell you a lot about that message but I do remember him saying " Don't be afraid of closed doors." This man had no idea about our Sunday school lesson. I felt God was trying to tell me something. He sees the big picture. He knows our future and He loves us so much.

Now here I am about to go back to Haiti to meet a little girl who is supposed to come home one day to be our own. Is she the one? Will she really come home? What if I meet her and fall in love and something happens and she doesn't come home to us? Will I be sad to be back in this country where somewhere there are 3 little girls that I have loved and lost?

I don't know what the future holds but I do hold on to God's word that in our Noah's International Children's Bible says: So don't worry, because I am with you. Don't be afraid, because I am your God. I will make you strong and will help you. I will support your with my right hand that saves you.(Isaiah 41:10)

Don't be afraid of closed doors.